Que' lo Que' ? ! @ Erika H and @ T.Ricardo. Jay-Z shout'n y'all out !

Watch'n the Jay-Z NBA concert. Swizz just threw his jacket in the crowd. He's my man but, Its come'n back. What man wear's a Xtra-Small ?!

"Menage" Table wine is my friend !

1st Amendment Rights in full EFFECT. These MF'ers are warped & insane !

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Eat'n healthy is not exciting. My Pears & Granola has nothing on the Sausage, Egg & cheese croissant this guy just walked by with. Lawd, give me the strength not 2 assault this man 4 his breakfast

Are u all looking @ this Sunset? God is Awesome! When was the last time u paid attention 2 his work ?

We Gotta Do Better! Country Nig*a Ish !

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The Realest Ish I've Heard Today: "Hurt people, hurt people." Whoa !! That's Vicious !!

I'm tired of give'n my hard earned $ 2 the local Police Dept.'s. Speed Cameras are the Devil! If u see me in the street tell me 2 slow down!

U all can caption this 1. I don't want the guilt 4 it !

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Ok. I'm on DVR delay w/ TrueBlood. WTF is a "Warepanther ?

Grey Goose is the Devil !!

I can't feel my face ! Help me Oprah !

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Just saw a "NObama" shirt in the White House gift shop across the street from the White House. I'm speechless !

These "Beck Flunkies" are off the hook in D.C. 2day. I've never seen so much disrespect in 1 place b4 ever! These folks are clueless

Just watch'd the Classic "Damn, damn, damn" episode of "Good Times". I'm in my feelings about James right now. Good morn y'all!

"Death & A Funeral" was hilarious. Just what I needed. Danny Glover & Tracy Morgan stole it. Lets see what else is on.

Ahhhhhhhh !!

Any1 know where I can get a few cartons of those Salmonella Eggs? I hear Glen Beck likes Devil'd Eggs. I want 2 hook him up w/ a few. Ok. That was mean but, really does anyone know where?

I'm put'n in a fresh perm tonite to rep for my man Rev. Al & his March in D.C. tomorrow

I'll be in the DC 2morrow. I'd love 2 talk w/1 of Glen Beck's zombies 2 inquire which "Good Ole Days" they want 2 go back to, "Slave Trade" days, or "Jim Crow" days? Somebody help me understand. I wants to know, I needs to know !

Still go'n. Just left football practice, on my way to see Moms. I feel like the Energizer Bunny on "V". I can feel the bags under my eyes!

I'm on some Rick Ross ish today. No cigar though

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Been up since 3:30 am. "I can't get Jiggy with the sheet!" I'm Hurt'n !

How many of u Vampires are up and out right now ?

What y'all know about "Half Baked" ? Mr. Nice Guy, Nasty Nate and Cocktail fruit !

Contrary to popular belief. No one can "Steal" your Man or Woman. That MF'er left on their own accord, or in their Accord, but no NO ONE can steal them

Good morning. I don't care what u call him. Jesus, Jehovah, Buda, Mohammed, Elvis ( just joke'n), just THANK HIM ! I am a true believer.

Sorry for stare'n @ u lady take'n her weave out on the train. I didn't realize I wasn't wearing my sunglasses so u could see the disbelief in my eyes. Ur really gonna put that on the seat huh ?

Taco Bell must be like that! Its 7:30am & these MF'ers want Tacos !

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Is Brett Michaels really host'n the Ms. Universe Pageant? I'm not mad @ him. Get ur check man. C'mon Ms. Jamaica. U got this !

Shout-Out 2 every1 who kept my Mom in their prayers. Her heart surgery was a success. Thank u all!

On Mass Ave NW look'n @ 17 cops w/guns around a van. Looks like homie has caught himself a serious case. Gone 2 November. November, 2055!

"Don't Be a Menace..." is on. U know u want to see it too! Don't front !

I'll help u but, 1st u must purify urself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka

@ the Redskins Game w/Donovan have'n a ball b4 kick off. *Side Bar* People who wear football jerseys tucked into their shorts scare me.

@ the Redskins Game w/Donovan have'n a ball b4 kick off. *Side Bar* People who wear football jerseys tucked into their shorts scare me.

I'm not sure but, I think its a Chevy ! Why Lawd ?!

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Something must be in the air this morning. It's a lot of EMO people walk'n around. Glad I put on my "Emo-Block" spray

Get Fresh Time ! Shout out to Montgomery B. The most Vicious Straight razor barber in the DMV ! Believe that !

I think Chic-Fil-A puts crack in their food. Don't believe me? Ride past 1 on a Sun & see if u don't turn into Pookie !

Watch'n the Eagles game. Vick looks sharpe. That's my DOG right there! Sorry. I couldn't help it.

Watch'n Kelis's "Bossy" video. WTF happened to her !?!?! It's like she's been drink'n Wack Juice !

Why can't people be nice & kind 2 each other? It takes much more effort 2 be an Azzhole right ? 4 u Azzholes out there feel free 2 confirm, or refute that by replying. I wants 2 know, I needs 2 know

....My bad. Good morning every1 !!

Heard some1 say, "My evening was a movie". Play'n Halo online in ur moms basement drink'n a 40 isn't a "Movie". That ish was a "1 Man Show"

Sookie said, "It's a big ball of Sh*tness!". Yes it is Snookie. I will have to use that. JerseyShore

@ the Hospital w/my mom watch'n "Life" Classic Martin and Eddie! What the hell happened 2 Lisa Nicole Casrson? "Dippers" ain't no joke huh ?

Just saw a Motorola Razr !! Where's the Hot Tub time Machine ?!

Dude, I applaud u 4 trying to be healthy. Eat'n that Apple, get'n exercise & everything but, the Hulk Hogan Speedo shorts should never have left the store w/you !!

Me & this Big Azz Muffin are about 2 spend some quality time together ! Come here thick'ems !

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Some of y'all have no damn business being on "Foursquare" U know that person ur date'n is crazy as ish & has "Stalker" tendencies! Why Lawd!

Good morn'n every1. I'm trip'n off off people still think'n Pres. Obama is a Muslim. It's ok that's he Black but, a Black Muslim is 2 much for u huh ? So what if he was ? Now what ?

I'm feeling real good right about now. How about y'all ?

"Lonely" by Akon has got to be one of the worst songs ever recorded ! thatsall

Why y'all let me eat all those damn Sugar Babies ? I'm hype'r than the kindergarten class they put all the ADD kids in ! Pass the Adderall !

I'm love'n how the media is giggling like school girls about Brett Favre return'n 4 his 100th season, but sh*t on LaBron for do'n just about the same thing. (Can you feel my Sarcasm?)

Unfortunately, you can learn a lot about a person by what they Tweet, or Update their FB status with. Be careful what u Post. Every1 isn't like me, U are being judged !

It is offically jacked up out here. Keep ur headlights on, and watch those puddles. They're deeper than u think. A Miata just got swallowed

Some1 please come turn this RayJ marathon off. I'll be watch'n this pimp'n MF'er until the sun comes up. "Keep it one hun'ned baaaby"!

It's a damn shame that I'm about 2 watch "For The Love of Ray J 2" again. Why Lawd?! I know I won't be the only 1 right? Don't judge me !

4 My DC & MD people. Who remembers "Drop Socks" ? Wow! Look'n back, that was the most, how can I say this..."Lafayette" fashion trend ever !

Don't u hate it when someone ur "NOT" speak'n 2 stares u in the mouth when ur speaking 2 someone else? To make them uncomfortable I ask, "Which part would u like me 2 repeat?" Awkward silence, & The "Deer in Headlights" look always ensues. Works every time, I love it !!

Look'n @ the 2010-2011 Redskins Schedule. It's going to be an incredible season! I know this is going to set the haters in motion, but when y'all start hate'n on the Redskins you sound like Charlie Brown's teacher 2 us, "Whomp whomp whomp. Whomp whomp whomp". Hate in silence. It's much more becoming. Oh, Good morning every1 ~ Derik LaMar

If u don't watch TrueBlood, ur trip'n. Russell is the craziest character I've ever seen. I guess they shouldn't have mess'd w/his boo boo!

How many of those damn robes does Lafayette have ?!

What would we do without DVR's? TrueBlood time !

I made my kids promise me that if the Good Lord lets me live 2 get real old that, they won't let me go outside look'n crazy. Please keep Daddy fresh. Y'all should do the same. These kids will set ur old azz up

Oh, u were talk'n to me? My bad, I was totally purposely ignoring u. Can u repeat it 2 that guy over there. He really looks like he's into dumb ish like that. Ok, no problem. Have a great day !

Break out the Spoons! It's Coon time again on VH1. Real & Chance are com'n back. Sad part is, i'll prolly watch it @ least once

http://ht.ly/18AUe2

LaMar PSA: Some of u MF'ers need 2 erase those old phone numbers out ur celly. I do not wish 2 see Hands or Hot Grits fly'n in the air !

I seen fake purses, fake glasses & fake people but, a Fake, Fake sugar? WTF !

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No Sunglasses, no Blackberry car charger. I'm "0 for 2" today

This explains why I feel like ish this morning ! Who the hell slipped this Kryptonite chain around my neck while I was sleep'n?

How dry I am....

17 years ago today my life changed forever. I miss u Dad. I wish u could see me now !

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Up early get'n Wifey a new tire. Aren't I the best? In honor of that...IHOP, here I come!

Damn Skins!! Keep this go'n for the rest of the season !

Lets go Skins !! HomeTeam for Life !

Why do old Indian (Red Dot, not feather) men walk with their hand behind their back? Ever notice that? 2 much time @ this red light I guess.

I hate to be so random but, Damn I love Cheetos ! I know I looked like a kid on Christmas morning opening this bad !! Don't judge me !!

2 all the people who don't get my "Uncle Ruckas" jokes, I present 2 u... "The Boondocks: The Color Ruckas". Shoutout 2 @ebengregory
http://ping.fm/X8yoK

In 2days, "Negro Please" moment, we have Aaron Hall from "Guy" STILL cry'n about how R.Kelley stole his style! "Negro Please" do u hear Charlie Wilson cry'n about how u ripped his style off ?!? Sit ur azz down & "Page" Teddy Riley (Because I know he still uses a beeper) & hook that Guy Reunion tour up. Those Support payments have to be kill'n you !

Is "Smoosh" a word grown people use ?

C'mon, do people really black-out when they drink? U might miss some minor details but, i'm not buy'n that "What did I do last nite?" ish

LaMarism: Are u living ur life on a treadmill ? Same ole ish huh ? Step off & step up. Damn, that Derik LaMar is something !

MoCo Police SUCK ! If u know 1 tell 'em I said it. All these lights out and they're no where 2 be found. Can some1 direct this traffic ?!

The raindrops look like Grapes out here. I can't see ish! Be safe y'all

It's hotter than Hot Dog water out here !! Why Lawd ?!Ur A/C game better be right in ur car

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For my TeamBlackBerry People. New BBM v.5.01. Go get that. LaMar approved !

Not only do I help, I educate. On this day in history the Watts Riots, also known as "Colored Beat Down Day", took place in 1965. Read up.

http://ping.fm/LvVZc

Dear God. May I have the 60 min. I wasted watch'n Bad Girls Club put back on my clock ? I promise I won't watch it again until next week.

Watch'n "Brown Sugar" Whoa ! Does any1 still have the soundtrack ? Lisa's has a Train track size scratch on it !

Anthony Bourdine has me ready to go to Dubai. Who's come'n w/me ?! Indoor skiing in the middle of the desert, in the Mall !

Another exciting day on the Metro. Rode home next to White "Precious". It was 10 degrees hotter on our row than anywhere else on the train !

I know I've said this B4 but, "The Boondocks" is the funniest ish on TV. I know he's not real but, Uncle Ruckus deserves a Golden Globe !

I know HATE is a strong word but, I HATE the Cowboys !

Watch'n "Blow" w/Johnny Deep. 1 of my favorite movies. Boston George was a beast !

A moment of silence for my Ray Ban Aviators please. Broken during the Roots set off of a strong dap :)

jumpoff.com out here !

Common needs 2 open a school for M.C'n ! Vicious!!!

I'm gonna look like Wesley Snipes when I leave up outta here! Passenger 57 like a MF'er !

That MF'er B.O.B said "Boston, make some noise!" We boo'd his azz like George Bus was on stage ! Get ur cities right chump !

It feels like the damn Amistad out here! Lawd Jesus im about 2 sweat my Perm out !

On our way to the Badu show at Merriweather Post. U know what it is. www.GonnaGetItInRealGoodAllNite.com !

Up make'n Pancakes for the kids + my lil homie from NYC-BK ! My Pancake game is a beast ! Hey, Hey, Hey (Drake voice)

The Most Vicious Guard Dog Ever! I dare u to roll up in here. I double dare u. Slow sing'n & flower bring'n !!

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Please turn on "What Would You Do" on ABC. People are really show'n their true feelings about 1 of my Favorite Topics "Race". Incredible !

The Burrito Bowl fought back. It got some good shots in. "I-Tes" set'n in right about now... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 5 more minutes Momma zzzzzzzzz

Sean Penn, last time I checked, you weren't Haitian, so S.T.F.U !! Sound'n like a "Hater" to me.

http://ping.fm/j5hvf

I'm about to go "O.J." on this Chicken Burrito Bowl from Chipoltee !! Break out the yellow tape !!

I feel like I need an Alcohol bath after that train ride in. It was a lot of "Cooty-Queens" & "Lint-Lickers" on there! Using Soap, Water, & Toothpaste is not optional, it's mandatory !!

I wish every1 was addicted 2 being Fresh as I am. Its a lil tart on this train this morning. BTW: Good morning. I'm Derik LaMar

Guido time !

It must be a rule or a stipulation of the purchase, that if u buy 1 of those old Police cars w/the light that u have 2 drive like a Azz !

Listening to Korn's Greatest Hits! ImHypeYo !!

Why do guys swear up and down that they can always "Get" the Receptionist ? Random Guy: "I'm telling you Derik, I know she wants me. She smiles, waves, & speaks to me every time I come up in this b*tch !". Derik: MF'er are you serious ? She's the "RECEPTIONIST" It's her job to Smile, Wave & Speak to everyone who comes thru the door.". My name is Derik Lamar, and I'm here to save the World !

Can some1 tell my why Perfumes/Colognes that stink last longer ( Like 9 hours long) than Perfumes/Colognes that smell good ? I know some things smell different on different people but, if that ish stinks in the store, for the love of Ray J please leave it there !

Good morning everyone. My name is Derik, and I'm a Cancer. I enjoy traveling w/my family, open bar events & chill'n with my friends.

Contrary 2 popular belief, there is no such thing as a "Summer Sweater" in 92+ Degree heat !

I hate to burst ur bubble but, people really don't change. "Once a _____, always a _____ ! " ( Fill in adjective ) They just get better at hiding it. Give me 30 minutes of convo & 2 drinks with them & I'll prove it ! ~ Derik LaMar

So i'm watch'n this Bad Girls ish. Are they gonna win something @ the end or are they supposed 2 wild out for an hour a week just because?

These Itches on Bad Girls Club are insane !! 1st time watch'n this. Whose eff'n idea was this? Its crazy! I love it. Why yall aint tell me ?

Hail to the Redskins !

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Why do I always get behind the driver in the fast lane that drives 15 to 20 miles under the speed limit & lefts every1 get in front of him?

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, and I'm stronger than a MF'er !!"

Why is every1 so eff'n EMO ?!?!?!?!

What ya'll know about this "Back In The Day" candy ?

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C'mon MF'er, COURTESY FLUSH! Do u know how long it took me 2 grow my Beard & Eyebrows? & U singe them off in a matter of seconds! Whatever u ate, don't eat that ish again. Put some water on that ish please !!

B4 u go to bed tonight, thank God 4 allowing u to see another day.

I've seen it all. How u gonna "Powerwalk" exercise & smoke at the same time. You're confuse'n the ish out of your lungs !!!

The Birthday Boy Get'n It In On The Lake

What's good every1. Mondays are no joke. tired than a MF'er. Which 1 of ya'll put something in my drinkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!

Derrick Ward on News 4 looks like he drinks Gilby's Gin and smokes Kools all day. Good nite yall !

Yes !!! Mike Tyson on Entourage ! Give Mike his paper !

How much is BP pay'n these MF'ers 2 be the "Faces" of the disaster? They are Mind Fugg'n the people, but the #M.F.U.A.A is 2 sharpe 4 that.

Is it me, or does Quizno's have the worst commercials ever recorded?

WTF is Sookie ?!

Had a ball @ the Lake w/the Fam. Its good to be back though. TrueBlood time now !!

Sip'n & Chill'n on the Lake

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