How u gonna be a rapper with a speech impediment? Gucci Mane gots 2 be the worst rapper ever! He needs subtitles 4 his vids. Mush Mouth Mane

Out of everything that's go'n on w/Bishop Long, I'm most mad about that wig! WTF ?!

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Watch'n "Law & Order L.A" & there's been no Perm sightings. Come out from under the dryer Terrance Howard. We need a few more brothas on TV

Most of u know me as a Peace love'n man but, I gotta speak my mind. I got real BEEF w/Wayne Brady's hairline. That ish is offensive! WTF ?!

Who the fugg keeps let'n E-40 make, 4 lack of a better word, Music?! Who buys that ish? Does a translation book come in the CD? Obama, help!

Damn! Stuck between "Speakerphone Man" and "2Damn Much Cologne Man" in line @ Safeway! These MF'ers got my nose and ears hurt'n likw ish!

Pressure bust pipes !

Negro Wake Up Call !!

Just had my "Negro Wake-Up/Reminder" moment. A client I'd spoke w/called back 4 me. She didn't remember my name but, she referred 2 me as "A Black Guy" & I quote, "He was black, I could tell by his accent". I swore I spoke perfect King's English. I must've slipped up & said "What it is mama ?, slap me some skin!" Ignorance is running rampant !!!

Detroit187 time !

Why do I always want Ice Cream when the "Biggest Loser" is on ?

"I'm in here Tina." Damn Ike was a cold MF'er ! #MFUAA

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Good morning every1. Keep On Moving. Don't Stop !! Create A Great Day !!

Redskins Defense is VICIOUS !!!

My Son is the best! He hook'd me up w/a Game time beverage. Let's go Skins!

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Watch'n the "Education Nation: Teacher Town Hall". Great Teacher's are so important. If u know a Teacher, give them hug. Shout out 2 Lisa !

Watch'n '90's video's is like read'n a "See Spot Run" book. Basic but, man are they take'n me back. "Hamma, u ain't hit'n in New Yok" 2funny

The Coolest 9 Year Old I Know !!

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Niiiiiiiiiice !!!!

Fuddrucker's Shakes are Crack !!

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Have'n a ball @ the Tyler Perry play w/Lisa and crew. Where's the after party?

"Ok kids, who wants to tase this guy? Not u Fat Jesus. Get back in line." Damn, "The Hangover" never gets old !!

Come on Comcast man. U really gonna come @ the last minute? On a Saturday too. That's cold, real cold.

Who's ready 4 some Pop Warner Football ?! Let's go Spartans !!

Why are the "Traffic Gods" against me 2nite? Go'n from Bethesda, 2 SW D.C. is like go'n thru the 5 burroughs in "Warriors"!

LaMar FYI: 2 The Father's who have Sons.Try ur best 2 be a part of their activities. If u choose not 2, don't be mad if u see the Football coach hang'n around ur house

"Hulu" is a beast !!

Good morning every1. Keep On Moving. Don't Stop !! Create A Great Day !!

Lisa has me watch'n "Grey's Anatomy" on DVR. I know I'm late but, its pretty good!

Damn Catherine on "CSI" is look'n old !! HD is not her friend !!

The Realest Ish I've Heard 2Day: "People come & they go, that's just the way that it goes but, that's alright!" WHAT ?!?! ~Ledisi...Vicious

Good morn'n every1. LaMar FYI: The Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal from Caribou is Crack !! Go get u some ! Create a Great Day !!

Watch'n "Undercovers" on DVR. Pretty good so far. Whats ur thoughts? U know if u dont watch it now, it won't be on agaiin. U know how it is!

Every1 has me watch'n SVU. This lil girl needs here Azz whop'd something serious !

Ladies: If ur man can't open a bottle of wine, trade him in.

Now this is a STORM !!!!

Damn Philly! That's cold but, I like the play on words. That's something I'd say.

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Good morning every1. Keep On Moving. Don't Stop !! Create A Great Day !!

Can some1 w/some mic skills please get on that "Gucci Time" track & do it some justice please !!!! Its a waste of a @THEREALSWIZZZ track

So u just gonna kill the young brotha off the show on the 1st night ?! Damn Detroit187 !

A lot of Countries have "Idol" shows. A lot of Countries have "Top Model" shows but, I bet America is the only country w/ "Biggest Loser"

I prefer to use "Confident" !

Just had a "WTF" moment. A guy, the same height as me but, 40lbs heavier, just gave me weight loss advise & was serious than a MF'er! GTHOH!

C'mon Brandy !

Is that the girl "Dirty Dancing"? Did she get a face transplant or is she in Witness Protection ?

Good morning every1. Keep On Moving. Don't Stop !!

Let's see what Fantasia is talk'n about. Let's hear ur side of it

2010 Coonery at its best! "Real and Chance" got a new show. All these MF'ers need is some Spoons and fried Chicken. We gotta do better

Cut Larry Johnson's azz and give him a bus ticket back to Grandma's house. It's a wrap 4 him

This is what u call a Jumbo Crabcake. It's so good 2 be Derik LaMar. Thanks Lisa !

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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye / Derik LaMar

I've seen way too many fuzzy braids up here. Please let 'em go fellas.

Only in B-More will u find the Parole Board next door to the Church. Fill that cup up, than get ur word ! Classic !

Get'n close to game time !! These boys are ready !

LaMar FYI:Never get "Chinese" food from a Chinese Carry-Out. Stick 2 the Ostrich size Chicken wings w/the hair on them. Just an observation

Special dedication to all the Hater's in the world !! This song is 4 u !!

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Good morning every1. Keep On Moving. Don't Stop !!

So whose gonna tell Snookie shes not Italian? U didn't hear Arnold and Willis talk'n like that did u? C'mon boo boo !

"Well ain't that a blip!"- Willonia Woods

My co-workers brought this back 4 me & its clear I need 2 make some personal decisions. I personally decide 2 get some ice 4 this!

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I'm about 2 start sell'n pounds of Wal-Mart's "Mountain Mix" out the trunk of my car. Than I'ma take over Springhill Lake Apt.'s like Nino ! Who's try'n to be G. Money ? "We all we got! " !!!!

I'm kill'n my homies Mountain Mix. This ish taste like Nino Brown should be sell'n it ! Vicious !

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Good morning every1. Keep on Moving. Don't Stop !! Get use 2 this. It's go'n 2 be my morn'n msg. If this inspires 1 person, my job is done!

I decided long ago, never 2 walk in any1's shadow - Randy Watson

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1 Of The Greatest Bands Of All Time. Gone Too Soon !

Randy Watson !!

This is who I do it for. I will never stop !

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It's an Eric Roberson day today. If you don't know abour ERo, go find out !! @MusicFanFirst vicious CD !!

Who in the Hell left the gate open ?!?!

I got my Mojo back. Yeah Baaaby !! ( Austin Power's voice )

LaMar FYI: This is for people w/kids. People w/out kids don't want 2 hear ur kid stories. I have kids & I don't want 2 hear ur kid stories!

Good morning every1 ! Keep on moving, Don't stop !

The Realest Ish I've Read 2Day: Why are u try'n so hard 2 fit in when u were born 2 stand out?" ~Unknown. I love it ! This is what I've been try'n 2 tell u guys

#Classic ! Banana Slurpee w/a Lil Pina Colada. Get u 1 !

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I am Blessed & Highly Favored ( Even thought I act a fool sometimes ) !!!

I'm good for the season with this win !! Redskins baby !!!!

YES !!! Redskins !!!

I'm back from Cirocville. Glad to be home. I made it just in time for the Redskins game ! Let's go Skins !!

Ciroc is the Devil !!

Time for shots !!

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The Last Beer In the Party !! It's Mine !!

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I love it that just about every1 loves me! For the 2 people that don't, u suck and u know it !

www.GreyGooseIsTheDevil.com !!!!!

Just watched a guy go up 2 a girl, dance w/her, and burn her weave w/a cig. He's smooth with the ladies. Beat down come'n soon !

I just ate the bombest fried fish @ this cookout. I think im gonna cry. It taste like Jesus made it !

It's a Rem Dog kind of nite tonight. Enjoy. Be safe

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At Annap. Harbor w/the kids, have'n a ball. I'm about 2 introduce them 2 Fuddrucker's. Pics to come

I'm down w/Chris Rock but, "Pootie-Tang" might be the worse movie ever made. Despite that, I gave it 10 min of my life.

If there was a "Reset" button, would you use it ?

It's jive (IE:kinda) breezy out here @ Football practice tonite. This is my time of year !

G'Town Cupcakes 4 The Fam. Its Go'n Down !

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This "Axe" Dirty Ball commercial is off the hook !! Haven't seen it ? Well, here you go......

http://ping.fm/zD6cb

Why am I still see'n "Labor Day" plates ?! Let 'em go please. Derik LaMar + Other people's BG's = Disgusted Derik LaMar

Listen'n 2 Shalamar's "Second Time Around". I got my crucial "2 Step" go'n at the red light. I know some1's take'n a pic. Dont judge me!

What Crazy MF'er Did She Piss Off ?!

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Pastor Jones (Redneck from FL) said, "The American people don't want a Mosque @ Ground Zero." Who told that MF'er 2 speak for me?! STFU !!

www.getitin.net

Watermelon to the Face on "Amazing Race". I'm gonna watch just to see this

The Realest Ish I've Read Today: Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag u down to their level then beat u with experience. Good morn'n !

Where do I sign up to be a guest host of "Man vs. Food" ?

Nothing Like Some Thick Azz Steaks On The Grill !

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What's good every1. I'm in great mood 2day (I'm here) It's gonna be a "Brand New Heavies" day, all day. How can u not like the Heavies ?!?!

I wish there was a "Don't Like", or "MF'er Are U Serious?" button on here. Some people are waaay out there !

My Bro-In-Law brought it back from Jamaica. Bout 2 put Ice on it now.

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Its go'n down right now w/the Steamed Crab Legs !

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I understand that the "Jerry Lewis Telethon" is a great thing 4 great cause but, I was really look'n fwd 2 see'n DNA test on "Maury". Damn !

Question 4 y'all? Are there any "Brownskin" or "Chocolate" video girls anymore? Watch'n videos and find'n 1 is like find'n new movies on VHS

Watch'n CNN "Atl Child Murders" special. I remember being scared 2 death because my folks were think'n about move'n down there @ that time

Some1 fill me in if I missed something. T.O. is chase'n after this broad that doesn't want him & he has a 3yr old kid he's never seen? WTF?!

Ochocinco chose Ruby ! She won season tickets in section 400 to the Bengals games, 2 Beers, and a bag of Peanuts. Congrats Ruby!

Today was a good day ! What u know about Cube ?

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Its a beautiful day in the city !

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I love my kids with all my heart & wld do anything 4 them but, they can't put stickers on my car windows ! Enjoy ur day and pray 4 some1 !

The biggest Moth just flew in the house. That big MF'er had a Tattoo, cell phone & stretch marks. I had to pull the Tims out to kill it.

Pop Warner Football Time ! Let's go MD Spartans !

Does any1 else walk around yell'n "Gotta find my way back, way back"? Just me? Dont' lie. Shout out 2 Jaheim. That's my ish!

Does this effing dog know I will leave him outside until tomorrow and kindly go to sleep. He's get'n a "10 Count". Somebdy come get 'em

What a crazy 24 hours this has been !

I've noticed lately that FB/Twitter is becoming a place for "SOME" people who got Bully'd or Punk'd back n the day go to "Re-Invent" themselves as Internet Thug or Ish Talkers( Real Ish Talkers are born w/it ). Too funny ! Please keep entertaining us. But remember, people know who u really are. Why don't u use ur typing energy 2 say something positive instead of lying 2 urself. Just an observation. Carry on, and enjoy your holiday weekend. Sincerely. Derik LaMar

Me & this Chicken Alfredo are about 2 have relations ! Ur boy is hurt'n for this plate !

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HUNGRY AS A HOSTAGE !! Chicken Alfredo is on the way ! I'm feel'n like a Bear who needs some Porridge

I'd like 2 thank my Security alarm 4 go'n off in the middle of the nite & dispatch'n the Police 2 my house. It's nothing like have'n the entire police force in ur face wait'n 4 u to make a wrong move in ur own house.

"The Situation" is a cold Pimp.

About 2 watch the visual crack that is JerseyShore

Watch'n "300". Classic !

** Breaking News ** Live Footage of T.I.'s interrogation !!!

http://ping.fm/kVV7V

WTH is wrong w/ T.I. & Tiny (Nose, my bad) U just came home & u wanna catch a case ?!? "They should have never gave u N... no money"

http://ping.fm/siHQ4

Shout Out 2 the makers of SHOUT Wipes & the Excel Hand Dryer in the Men's Room. Thank u 4 preserving & restoring my Flyness this morning.

#*!@ Spilled coffee on my shirt ! This is not fly guy approved !

I hate to write negative things but, I swear the older I get the more dumb MF'ers I encounter on a day 2 day basis. Incredible !

The MF'er who went up in the Discovery 2day is CERTIFIED CRAZY! Not like Kanye, REAL Crazy. Peep his Blog. U saw it her 1st. Shout out 2 CK

http://ping.fm/bg1qS

I'm a Rick Ross fan but, he should never be allowed 2 take his shirt off in public. He got babies get'n hungry everytime he does.

Don't know why but, every time I hear "Ain't No Halk Step'n" by BDK, I feel like the coolest MF'er in the world. Even more than usual !